More than restless....obsessed.

Ok, I have become obsessed. I received a little feedback from this http://www.winona360.org/winona360/article/op-ed-its-time-reflection-war-family-and-action. Maybe you read it, maybe you didn't. I don't mind if you take the time to do so now. And sure, go ahead. Re-read it. It is completely worth your time.

Frankly, I have become a little obsessed. I've decided the message is too important than to just say, "Atta girl, Lisa. You squeaked out a good one." Because while I do think I did well on the writing part, it's the message that has been keeping me awake. I clearly didn't think this through and this is why the big guns have agents.

But what they don't have that I do is you. I am asking for your help. I'd like to get this article more widely published. So far, two papers and one on-line site have taken it--it's not bad, but I, no, we can do better.

I will kindly offer my favorite version-the long one with the picture because seriously--who can resist those eyes? And an edited version--one I picked apart and whittled down to the core and it was so painful because I was so attached....but anyway. The message is retained and it will seem more palatable to print-only papers.

Some of my friends and my mom might be worried that I will stop shaving and start leading "Kumbaya" spontaneously. Relax! Spring is coming, I have pride, and I can't sing.

But I can write. And badger. Lucky you! If you have any contacts whatsoever with any sort of publication, large or small, I will take it. If you have a friend, a friend of a friend, or spent time dog sitting this one guy's mom who worked for so and so, I want to know. If there are online publications I am not aware of, give me a tip. As one of my commentors said, "Where have I been? It's time to get the word out." Forward the link above yourself or send me an email at lisa.graybookshelf@gmail.com with the contacts and I will do the leg work.

Indifference.

It's a bad place to be, and I am not going back.

Where has all the humor gone?

These matters of the heart don't always pave the way for a lot of laughs, but there have been some.

When I showed my daughter my latest work her reply was, "It's long."

Self-soothing techniques in the midst of angst include small squares of dark chocolate from a private stash that I go to whenever anxiety strikes. This explains the perpetual ten pounds I can't get rid of, but Thing 2 is on to me. I've given up on the "private" part of the stash, but I did ask if he could please take the ten pounds as well. "I'll try, mom," said Thing 2 and then thoughfully added, " but you know I like to move and you like to sit."

Ouch.

Snuggle time with Thing 1 often means soaking in the smell of her freshly washed hair. I was dating myself by telling her that there used to be a shampoo called "Gee Your Hair Smells Terriffic." I guess my own clean-up after dinner was less than perfect because she said, "Gee, Your Hair Smells Like Bacon."

Again, ouch.

Finally, in order to calm my racing mind, I was reading about writing last night. Why I thought this would calm me isn't clear now, and it certainly didn't work. So I kept reading. And reading. Big man gave up and I could feel his stare. The exchange went something like this:

"Stop bullying me with your stare. I'm reading. Go to sleep."

Silence. More staring.

"You are a bully."

"Hon, we're like-minded souls. We don't even need words. You know what I am thinking."

Silence.

My turn to stare.

The lights went out....on his side.