"Grandpa," I said, "cows are big."
He chuckled again. "Yep."
This speaks to me. More frequently than I care to admit. Which I just did, which says too much about me. Again. Anyway, when hubster and I are in a negative zone, or I should say, when the kids are in a negative zone, one of us will simply say, "Peck." Two minutes later, the other replies, "Peck." This can continue for sometime depending on how long the negative cloud hangs around. Astute Things may take notice of pecking and inquire. More often than not, we shrug and continue until it seems the cloud has disappeared. How this does anyone any good is beyond me. Maybe it's some trippy psychological technique that hasn't been officially approved yet prevents us from ripping out hair or leaping from windows. God knows there are enough science "experiences" in this house. I don't need further research or even affirmation. Keeping my hair in tact and windows unbroken is good enough, and we all know good enough is great for me.
I made a promise to myself with the new year that I would write more. To that end, I decided to carve out time for this at a time when I feel fresh and others are not likey to bother me. So far, this is how my morning goes:
5:20....I smell my coffee perking and it lures me up before the alarm goes off.
5:25....I sit and stare at the computer. Most often I write crap for 10 minutes before something comes to me.
5:40...."I wet the bed I wet the bed I wet the bed!" roars from Thing 2's room so I trudge in to help and pack him off to
5:45....Thing 2 is up and ready for the day...dressed, humming in the kitchen, deciding on her breakfast. I plead for alone time. She sulks off to her room...with music blasting.
5:47....The dog barks a lot. I forgot I let her out. Now she is in and demanding attention. From me.
5:50....I forgot what I was writing. I have been up and down 5 times since I started and whatever thoughts I had have left. More
crap is written to be deleted soon.
6:00....Screw it. Maybe the news will jar something.
6:05....I will check Facebook. I have a few real writer friends who have published BOOKS for chris sake. Let me find out what
they are up to. At least I can feel someone's success from afar.
6:15....Check blogs of other successful people and whine more to myself.
6:20....Glad I made no promises to anyone...except to myself. Well, shit.
I tend to think we have it a bit backwards in this culture. Kids are already selfish. Our lives already revolve around them. Perhaps we should inverse the trend- start and stay very small right through to 21. Then, when some stripes have been earned, start slowly pouring it on. Because isn't that kind of what it's about? We've made it this far? We've survived some things?Achieved some things? We want to, just for a few moments, be happy that we are here and revel in what we have become and look to the future with excitement? The celebration is a pause that let's us do that. Whether anyone else is in agreement with me doesn't matter. Because one of the greatest parts about getting older is claiming what you want and knowing you can get it for yourself. Now that feels like the best gift of all.
How funny is it that so much of life is based on a need for control and order when it feels like anything but? My previous post about the dream had no qualifier. I didn't say it what kind of dream. I only meant to say that I really love it when I catch myself enjoying my life. Kids or no kids, spouse or none, with a plan or not, I hope that wherever you find yourself, something good can be found in it. As much as we might crave order, only so much can be done. Don't forgo the joy because it is there if you look.
"Yeah, mom. And I've been pretty nice to you, too. Haven't I?"
"Watch this glorious thing mom. Watch!"
I peer down the hall. There he is wiping the seat of the throne instead of leaving it for one of the girls to yelp at and twist their face in disgust. That's my guy. A 4 star day, for sure.