I don't want this and I really need that....so what gives?

Artillery is scattered throughout my house- little nerf "bullets" can be found under coffee tables, in the cracks of the couch, floating with the African water frog, lying in kitchen drawers, peeking out of a stack of towels, behind book cases, and under covers. Where ever you might look, there is evidence of a nerf war.

Shoes, however, are a different story. They aren't by the door, in Thing 2's room, left in either car, or in a closet--that would be too ordinary. I do see a pair lying out in the yard. They have been rained upon twice, and dried by the sun twice, and covered with grass. No one (Thing 2) seems too concerned so nor am I. They don't fit is what I hear. Thing 2 has feet that appear to grow overnight. The pair of the week always seems to go rogue (or at least out to the yard) so he gets challenged to work with subpar replacements (i.e. any pair, regardless of fit) or keep track of the shoes. It's a toss-up every day, and I do my best to stay out of it.

We do, by choice, have at least 10 brushes. These get hoarded by Thing 1 because it's well-known that 4th grade girls can have a brush emergency at any given moment. A brush must be within reach at all times. Or so I have observed. This is why there are 3 brushes in her back pack, two in her locker, 2 in her swimming bag, and one in each car. Whenever one gets purchased in the manly color of black so that there is no question as to the owner of this brush (Big Man), it is not-so-mysterioulsy swiped. Big Man is then left combing his hair with an American Girl doll brush,which is half the length of a pencil.

I don't want Pokemon cards yet it feels like we have hundreds. I don't want nerf guns and yet we have 5. Brushes and shoes come in handy on a daily basis, but their whereabouts are always in question. How does this happen?

What rarely gets lost is my sense of humor.

But don't quote me on that. Or ask Big Man. Or the kids. I try, though. Really, I do.