United, or not.

Everyone remembers where they were that September day. I was nursing a 4 month old Lucy. Bob had just returned from an overnight shift at the hospital. I was confused by what I saw on the television and I yelled to him as he was finishing his shower, “What is going on?”

We sat in our tiny condo glued to the horror, staring in amazement at everyone rushing to the scene, people jumping out of buildings, smoke billowing, immovable buildings crumbling. I’ll never forget Bob discussing the newly born babies he delivered and looking at my tiny ball of life while watching thousands die and not being able to take it in.

And over the course of hours and days, there was a sense within our country of uniting, one I had not experienced before and one I have not experienced since.

I am heartbroken for the victims and their families and hold all of the fire fighters and first responders and police and community organizers who simply turned toward the scene and dug into the horrific work. Americans of all kinds rallied together to show our love and support and pride for who we claim to be.

My greatest fear today is that we are not united. This pandemic is unraveling us for reasons I do not understand. The science is clear and yet, we still want to fight against science. Our lawmakers cannot agree on how to support so many who are suffering and will continue to do so and yet we can’t unite around how Congress work for us and we deserve and should demand better. Money still talks and drives the decision-making. I don't know why I am always so surprised that there are people who believe it's all about money--that money is the most important thing, but everything that we see happening is because someone does not want to let go of their wealth. The vaccines are tied to money, lack of policy change on climate is about money, everything Trump touches has to do with money and lies. The bottom line is that the Gaslighter-in-Chief has been so successful in telling the story that white America is somehow at risk and we must rally the white troops to stay number 1. But we are no longer number one-- most countries want nothing to do with us as our international relationships have eroded.

The bottom line is we can do better when we admit our fears and then work together. As a white person, what am I really afraid of? If that is not a question you have asked yourself, I hope you do. 

Will we unite? I don’t know. I’ve let go of so much about who I thought we were. I’m almost to the point of begging—is this moment in time so good for you, to you, that you cannot see the multitude of suffering on his watch that you’d just love another 4 years?

9/11 showed we can unite. The enemy today is different but no less disturbing because we are letting him win. Hold your loved ones close. Get real about what is happening today not just for you, but for all of those who are jobless, homeless, food insecure, burning from unchecked climate change, dying because they are working with little protection during a pandemic ( teachers and kids!) and scared daily because their skin is not white. Ask the hard question— what can I do to be a part of a country that truly cares for all?

I won’t forget.

And I want to remember that we have been united and we can do it again.

52 days.

Vote.