Reflections and moving forward.

 

11 Things to Keep from 2023

1. I want to remember that people show me love all the time. In acts of service, in a sincere question about me, in an invitation, in presence. My favorites: Ben asking me, almost daily, “How was your day, mom?” as we sit together eating dinner; the smile on a student’s face when they discover what I’ve recommended works!; my dearest friends just holding space and knowing how special the space is; Bob holding my hand and saying,” I’m so glad you are home.” Moments in Iowa:  Mom, with tears as we load up her last box and leave Story Avenue;  Mom with tears as we unpack each box;  Mom as she flits from room to room with joy, “I just love it!” she says of this new home; Mom, unwrapping dad’s picture and a clock Kelley gave her;  Mom carrying it all;  Angie and Leslie and I howling with laughter; Josh giving me the biggest warmest hug. None of this relates to being productive. It’s all about being aware.

2. Jewelies, my writing group, is a place to let it all out and attempt to work through the struggle of being human. I really can’t say enough about how it feels to just have the space- knowing I can come pop in any time to work it out. It’s writing and so much more. I do not know how to function at the moment without a space like this.

3. The distance I have finally acquired to look at my book objectively. It needs work. I can do the work. It’s ok.

4. The ability to say the things no one will say. I’ve done it three times this year and while not much has happened as a result, tension has been released. I think this paves the way towards movement in a better direction. Knowing and then saying the hard things are so so so so important. 

5. Understanding growth can feel imperceptible. See number 4. 

6. My early mornings and naps when I can take them.

7. Sunrises and sunsets and clouds and raindrops and me pulling over to snap a photo. I want to always stop.

8. Laughter and being silly with people. I added more this year and it’s no surprise- I want even more. There are few people who bring it out in me, and  I want to see more of them.

9. Boundaries need not be outwardly firm. My mantra of late has been “This is not about me” when I feel challenged or too agitated by another’s words or actions. 

10. Not getting annoyed at the amount of time people bring up weight and diets. I have made progress, but….see #9 Lisa. ;)

11. A warm mug of steaming coffee each morning in the muted light before sunrise. I sit and think of nothing, a time where no questions are being asked and the only objective is being aware. 

To the holiday and the awareness you bring to it. In all the imperfections, may you find tiny moments of joy to hold onto.

And to the new year and being willing to be open to all it may bring.

Lisa