Wiser though I don't feel older

Did you see this?  You really are as old as you feel which is great because I don't feel all that old. Truthfully, I try not to think too much about numbers and when I read this this by Elizabeth Gilbert, I decided another good way to keep feeling good is to think of my future self a bit more. God knows I have spent too much time dwelling on the past. My meditation practice is helping me with now. But this idea provides a more positive spin on things like cleaning and exercise. I am sure I must have considered it before, but sometimes things just hit you and you finally get it. 

A case in point was my birthday. I used to spend a lot of time hating my birthday because it falls three days after Christmas. Most times I was travelling or I was ill because it never failed that I would get sick over holiday break as a teacher. But finally, I am getting the hang of it. I start planning in November. I make reservations and set the ball in motion. I asked for what I want and I get it. Some don't understand the big appeal to birthdays, but I just really believe that there is only one day ever that is about you and so I like to make the most of it. Best of all, I wrote a letter to myself. I got down and dirty with all things me- and I focused heavily on the good. It was hard, but I did it and I like having physical proof of a difficult year that I handled well. The bottom line is planner Lisa really made Birthday Girl Lisa's day.  I want to take this wisdom into other areas to see how that feels.

I feel pretty fired up about my new year. 

I have set the dates for my Red Boot Coalition meetings. I am nervous, but I really believe in this process. As I have talked with Molly, the founder, what she is finding is that people are hungry for conversation about things that matter and to do so in a place that has no agenda. It seems weird on the outset- gather some people and talk about important stuff. But I also believe that if we were to get to the heart of important things with our work mates or people we might not normally chat with we might act a bit differently in our work place and within our communities. At least that is what I am hoping and I am choosing at this time to trust in the process. Too often we opt out of difficult conversations. We don't want to "go there" or "get into it", but what if we did? What if we just said what was in our hearts and more importantly, we listened to others? I think the simplicity of this endeavor has the potential to be a game-changer in our world. I can't miss being a part of it. Anybody anywhere can start a meeting or join one. Check here for more details OR leave a comment at the end of my blog with your email address. I would be happy to talk with you about this.

I am setting my intentions regarding a retreat I am co-facilitating with two wonderful women in March. Every time we gather to plan, we talk over each other in excitement. I could not have predicted doing this with these women one year ago. Quite frankly, I was miserable one year ago. I was full of fear and sadness and disappointment and uncertainty. And from that and a lifetime of other experiences, these women believe I have wisdom to offer and help others? Old Lisa would make a snarky comment here, but they are right. I have learned a lot and I would like to share it. 

My work with The Great River Shakespeare Festival at times feels out of my comfort zone. But then I pop into a local business and someone smiles and I know as hard as it feels for me to ask for something, business owners are happy the festival is here. The volunteer I work with signed up at the same time I took the job and he has been invaluable. Truthfully, he needs to be the one getting paid, but I am really soaking in his wisdom and appreciative of his kindness and generosity. I am a connector at heart and that skill is certainly paying off.

So all of this is to say I have been writing (I have two pieces that should appear in our local paper soon) and carting children and cooking and barely keeping up with laundry and frankly, avoiding the great outdoors because as bright and sunny as it is, it just feels cruel.

But my heart is full and warm and I am preparing for my future self because she needs a little love too. Cold days are great for plotting. Your future self with thank you!

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