It seems crazy that I can say I have been married for fourteen years. At times, I still feel sixteen and chubby and wondering if anyone will ever ask me to dance. But someone did eventually. Well, ok. I didn't get asked to dance but close enough. You all know about the Sweet Potato Queens, don't you? They believe you actually need four husbands- one who can do house repairs, one who will cook, one to ....., and one who can dance. I didn't get this recommendation until I was well on my way with the one that I chose. At the time, getting one husband seemed more than enough. I now joke with the ONE that being three our of four isn't bad.
Ok, I didn't get asked to dance. I got asked for a ride home from a party.We were at a Halloween party of all things- both in costume. I was carting all the bridesmaid's dresses from weddings I'd been in along with a sash that said "The Eternal Bridesmaid" written on it in blue Sharpie. I also had those lovely dyed-to-match shoes so I could change the whole ensemble every hour on the hour. From fetching frothy peach to shocking satin pink to a lustrous aquarmarine, I gave reports about each couple. The ONE had on a mask of some melting-faced creature. Pinned to his t-shirt was a sign that read "I should have listened to my mom. I DIDN'T stop making that face. It stuck."
I don't know if meeting my future husband in costume had any weird meaning for us. But what I know is that we felt comfortable with each other early on, that we got to know each other through letters (how old-fashioned) because we didn't live in the same town and we were both short of cash that enabled us to travel frequently to see each other, and the laughter came easily and frequently.
Fourteen years later, I can report that we are still comfortable with each other, we don't write to each other anymore except for the cryptic e-mail reminder of this or that, and that laughter has sustained us and gotten us out of some tough spots. Halloween is celebrated in a big way--for the kids, the grandparents or for us--it is never quite clear why, but it is. I feel certain I won't look for a dancing partner. Who knows? Maybe my son will buck the Wilfahrt male tradition and ask me to dance one day. However, I've got no complaints. Really. Three out of four is pretty great.