Pressure

View my April Updates on The Stack. You will need to scroll past my ratings system to get to April.

Well, here I am again. I struggle at times to determine what to write. I have looked at quite a few blogs and the ones I like the most seem to make me think or laugh. I haven't been feeling like I have much of either to report or ponder as of late. I went searching for material at a Wilfahrt family function, but I was greatly disappointed. Everyone was on good behavior. Even Dog. There was one off-color joke by Great Grandma, but even that seemed normal. So here is the real deal: the stress on the home front seems to be taking over. My lips are twice their normal size due to large cold sores. I find it convenient that there is one on the top and the bottom. If it works as a weight loss plan, I will feel less resentful. Work related issues for the spouse keep us agitated and restless and the ponderings of what to do seem a little too much. We make time for silliness and it starts out forced, but eventually we get into it. Sometimes silliness is unintentional. Yesterday I donned a less than perfect ensemble. I shuffled out to the kitchen and when I finally noticed what I had on, I decided to point out my fashion faux pas-- without missing a beat the king male said, "It's been worse." Ah, well, it seems part of our marriage success is that there is no end to the amusement we cause each other. But back to stress. Everyone has it, many have much more and frankly I annoy myself at times. But here is the kicker: why do kids seem to hurl their drama at you at the precise time of the big person's drama? Why can't it be evenly spaced out? Each of us gets a turn and we can handle it one at a time? Oh, right. The neat package of life is a farce so we must deal with the crap as it comes. Fairy Godmother Katy would say kids keep it real and put things in perspective and really, damn her, she is right. The time we get with these little babies is so brief. It won't feel good to have spent the time wallowing in stress. So we are muddling through and there are frisbees to throw and seeds to plant and pancakes to flip and Dog to walk and when your focus gets that small, it is really quite good.
But I do feel on hold as of late. Nothing new is on my horizon and pursuing something new right now just doesn't feel like a good idea. But if I wait for things to change or settle, well, I will always be waiting. But as this whole blog started, I was in search of something...and I am still searching.
Did I make you laugh or think? I don't know. But for now, this is what I have to offer.

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