August 25th, 1963



50 years is a long time to do anything, right? Especially to
stay married.  I was talking to a friend the other day about a party we had recently for my parents whose 50th anniversary is on Sunday. There is a lot to consider about marriage.  To feel loved and to endure and to be who you are inside that marriage for a lifetime is hard work. I think, even greater than raising children, continuing to come back to the partner you smiled at unknowingly however many years ago is challenging.

Merci Beaucoup

It's coming to an end, this summer of ours. I have mixed feelings like always....admitting my kids are moving onward, upward, getting OLDER while I do not.  

Ha.

I know a lot of people feel excited about a new school year. In truth, it's my real New Year's, a time when I re-evaluate how I'd like our family life to go in the thick of carpooling and homework and social obligations and activities.  But in thinking of all that, there is usually some sort of small knot in my stomach, some sort of little dull ache that suggests not yet....I am not ready just yet and I have to dive in without really feeling like I am up to it.

This year I will take trip to a local university a few times a week to teach public speaking. I will drive my kids hither and yon and try to prepare meals 3 out of 4 of us will eat. I will squeak in a bit of writing and lots laundry and make dusting a thing of the past. Ok. I admit, I don't even really know what dusting is, but it feels good to make a public declaration of letting the pretense go. I will attempt to take care of my body in a way that it deserves,  and I will make Big Man and our marriage a priority that comes well before the laundry. 

And finally, I will re-evaluate this blog.  When I started it, I thought I would find my way to some sense of contentment that I find hard to get to. It has brought me many things, but I would be hard-pressed to say contentment is one of them.

So this is all to say I am taking a time out. I realize I have tested people by waiting a long time between posts, but to do so officially makes me feel like I have time to really breathe, to be thoughtful about what is next. 

I wish I knew, and when I do it's likely you will be able to check back though things might be quite different. 

I hope, if anything, my writing has giving YOU food for thought. For any time and attention you have given to this blog,