Most times when I write, I have an idea I am attempting to work through. But lately, there is so much swirling around in my brain that I don't even know where to start. Here are just a few things that have been on my mind:
Forgiveness
Bullying
Power struggles with kids
Over eating
Fear
Summer camps
Care taking
Frothy romance novels and their appeal
Female friendships
Being or not being "fine"
Rhubarb
Failure
Anxiety
The marriage amendment in MN
Writing groups and workshops
Organized religion
Happiness
My grandmothers
It's a random list, and no one thing dominates. In the last week alone, I have ruminated on all of these things. Laundry and dish washing and car pooling provide ample time for rumination. But I want answers and I use writing to help me plod me toward some sort of truth. Lately, I only seem to have more questions making my time at the key board unsatisfying.
Today I will listen to the final group presentations in the first college public speaking class I have taught. Over half of these students still call me professor even though I have repeatedly stated that I haven't earned the title, I didn't do the work for it, etc. But Julian will get out of his chair, walk up to me before he leaves and say, "Thanks, Professor Gray" as he has done every day that we have met this semester. This time he will tell me to have a good summer because he is that sort of kid (18, yes, but still very much a kid), and I will tell him I am not a professor, smile, and say, "Thanks, Julian. You, too." And just has he has always done, he will smile back and say, "Well, you are the smartest one in the room so that is good enough for me, Professor."
And just like that, I have one more thing to add to my ever-growing list.
